Faith in Action.

I didn't got to Bikram yesterday. I was watching Drop Dead Diva with Ashlee. We needed a sister's morning. We wish our other sister would join us...

I had every intention of going to a later class, but a sadness and an exhaustion laid in and I just dealt with work and family stuff... Plus it was storming yesterday so 2 seemed like 4, 3 seemed like 5 and so on. It was a harder day than I have had since I got back from NYC. I figured that I have been getting emotions and releasing toxins and just lifting myself out of these things in the mornings by going to class so early in the day.

Anyway... I woke up at 6 this morning and was seriously pacing around my apartment with lots of new ideas, and feelings of inspiration, and I had to wait until about 8:30 to get a hold of anyone to talk out a few things. Again, I missed my 9 AM class. Then I got to working out some new pattern stuff, and I knew that the 11:30 was approaching. It was 11:18 and I didn't feel like I was ready, but I knew if I didn't get up and go that I would miss again today. So faster than I can understand I was out the door, on my bike, locking it up, filling up my water bottle and on the floor waiting for class to start. I had a serious moment of, "how did I get here?"

I led you here sir, for I am Spartacus...

no but really. Then like never before, it was the best class I have ever had. My postures aren't perfect, and I can't lift up my entire body while laying on my arms, but I came closer than ever before to a real meditation. I thought fondly of people I love, and played ELO's Showdown over and over again in my head. It was the best.

Then this instructor who I have never had before, but now like the best, an older no nonsense lady, Janet, read from some book about yoga or meditation while we were in our final savasana. I can't remember everything that she read but it was about Faith. And the thing that stuck out the most was that our faith must remain in action.

We must act.

I have been having a reoccurring conversation with people about shifting into what they are truly supposed to be doing, or at least moving on from what they are doing to find what it is they are searching for. And I think it's frightening to make such a move, to turn around, to go back to something, to follow your heart, and not the money.

You just can not be lead down a path because of the fear of money. Having it or not having it. I think that if you are being your most honest self, and if you are truly listening to what it is and where you are supposed to be, joy and security will follow.

I'm making a switch. You'll hear more about it after September, and I hope that it will sit well with all of you, because it is the thing that calls me awake at 6 AM every morning. I have to act on the faith that I have that my HF wants the very best for me. And it's my hope in that that mutes out the fear of change or a Charles Dicken's debtors prison.

I just know that waiting around for things to get better will never make you happy.