I've been doing a lot of thinking.
About where I am right now. About technology. About social networking. About designing fabric. About printmaking. About baking. About traveling. About a lot of things.
About playing Nintendo.
I realized that I got stuck on a track somewhere along the way, and I that realization led me to realize that I am not satisfied. The only thing that I can really compare it to is degrees in school. You pick a degree and then you are given specific things that you must do to graduate/succeed. I feel like I am on the wrong track, in the wrong degree program, and I need to make some changes.
I've found that I am feeling burnt out and overwhelmed in an industry that was supposed to be just a branch of the path, not THE path. And I believe with all my heart that we can make whatever kind of life we want for ourselves, and in that I'm taking a good long look, and evaluating what it is that I really want my life to be, and the direction that I want it to go.
I haven't printed in over a year. That breaks my heart. I haven't taken a trip for myself in over a year. That's devastating for my health/ well being/ creativity. I find that I am not doing the things that mean the most to me, and I just keep looking things and wondering how I got to this place.
I want to be my best all the time, and that means finding and making work what makes me the happiest.
This isn't to say that I won't be designing fabric anymore... or that I don't like designing fabric, but i've got to be able to strike a balance that I have not been able to find yet.
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?
Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads
Are you living the life that you want? Are you taking steps to make what you want so? Is any of this really as complicated as we make it?