LizzyHouse

on choosing happiness.

I just want to talk a little about Happiness. 

I have made the most conscious choices in my life in the past 3 weeks. I have been choosing happiness. I've actually been preparing for this for a while now.

Practicing smiling in airports. Practicing accepting and resolving bad news. Practicing accepting and dismissing snarky emails... just overall practicing letting things be light, and letting happiness into my heart quicker and quicker. 

But truth be told, this is a fairly new concept to me. I always felt and believed and had been taught that happiness was a choice, but for various reasons it never felt like it was an option that was available to me. Because I had been broken, or unwanted, or didn't belong, or unloved. Being happy wasn't in the cards for me. I could arrange happiness in other people's lives, and did, but I would not be granted the same gifts, because someone wasn't giving me that same gift, or I was unworthy to receive it. 

Then a light went off.

I have been a victim to unhappiness for the better part of my life. Things have happened to me. I was not a lucky one. Bad things continue to happen to me, because that's all I have ever known. And although I believe that there is some truth to that, I felt like, but didn't know how to put my finger on the fact that I was perpetuating that. I was in a way choosing for good things not to happen, to be unlucky, to not get picked, to not be as happy as the people I helped be happy. I think some weird twisted part of that, in our most unhealthy victimized state, sort of relishes the fact that our lives are hard. Poor Lizzy. She has so much going for her, and yet she's so sad. I wish she could find someone, I wish that she could be pleased with what she has accomplished. But it wasn't enough. Nothing I could ever do or print or perform or give would be enough. I'd always felt that I was too much in so many ways, and just not enough in the ways that mattered. 

I just don't buy it anymore, and I want to banish that sliver of self that would ever allow me to fall back on pity for anything in my life. Or what I don't have. Or have not accomplished. Or that I am in some way not enough.

More now than ever, I see my life for what it is. A Gift. No one owes me anything. I don't expect anything, and every good thing is a gift, a bonus, a buoy. So everyday I am waking up and choosing to be happy. 

And what is so amazing, is how incredibly easy it is. I except all responsibilities for my actions. I except all trials (or contrast) as an opportunity. And when you decide to choose, things do not just happen to you. You see your way in and out of situations with a different perspective. What put me here? How will I choose to deal with this? What will I do when something like this comes along again. How many minutes before I can let this go and be happy again... 

There is no more beating myself up. There is no more dwelling on things that were. I am no longer hiding from anything. For me, those things have become indulgent. And I can longer afford such a sick luxury. There are real boundaries that protect me and this space. Not walls. But the amazing thing is, is that when you are choosing to be happy, and you are making healthy choices, and you are not beating yourself up, then all of the bad choices, and the dark places, and the things that would cause you grief, seem to melt away, and you stop choosing them. You stop choosing to let them be the things that makes you up. Whether it be abusive damaging people, situations, fear, sadness, judging others, or a million other things; you release it all. You stop carrying things with you that just don't matter anymore. You look brightly to what is to come. You anticipate greatness in yourself and the people around you. You allow the good and the happy to be what you carry instead, and it's like a balloon tied to your wrist. And no one gets to take it away from you. And it's not going anywhere, unless you cut that string. And if you would do that, cut that string, please acknowledge why. Address it, let it go, and be happy again.  

The most beautiful thing about all of it though, is the longer you sit with this, and choose it, the more natural it is, and happiness doesn't seem like a conscious choice anymore, it's just who you are. It's also vital that you have or find people around you that can help you build this consciousness. I have found these people in my life, and also I am so grateful to say that my dear family is getting on board and we are sailing forward together. 

I was standing in my kitchen last night, eating some brussel sprouts, putting away some dishes, and like a gift from a sponsor in the Hunger Games, a little package with a parachute fell into my hands, and told me

I'm enough. 

I always have been, I just know it now. 

I love my friends.

I'm going ice skating on Saturday. I found this out on Monday. I don't know if we have talked about this before, but I like to dress to occasions. This summer I went to a baseball game, so I wore a red/pink/blue plaid-ish gingham shirt dress. Why? Because it felt like America to me. Like I was dressing to illustrate baseball. I do this a lot. I'm not getting dressed for church, I'm getting dressed for what my idea of what my Sunday should be/ feel like... that's probably why my clothing is so expressive... or not, when I am not feeling expressive. I'm essentially always wearing a costume. As I write this it seems a little stranger than it usually does... or I am just always dressing for success.

But since I was going ice skating, I wanted it to look like I was going ice skating. I sent a tweet to my peeps that I was looking for a pink cowl. To me, this would make me look wintery and girly. Both of which is on my agenda for my idea of ice skating. Also, I am not much of a knitter. I don't have the hand strength to do it (tear.)

Almost immediately I got 2 responses from some of my favorite people. And sure enough today in the mail, I received two of the most beautiful cowls (and little gifties) my little eyes ever saw.

The first is from Amanda. Amanda is this the one that you were working on in my house when you were here? Oh and don't worry, it is just the same exact color as my skin, no different.

If I am correct, this is Twinkle yarn??? And I don't know the pattern. All I know is that I love it.

Next is from Virginia, Danielle, and Amy. They are Gather Here, and Knit Collage!

I am going to write a separate post about my love for Knit Collage in just a minute, but here is the beautiful cowl, that I think is actually called the Lizzy Cowl... because of me?

It's so beautiful, and sparkly, and will go with my bright yellow coat so well. It's from the Gypsy Garden Collection, in Raspberry Sunset.

And if that wasn't enough, they made me a Sister Skate Cap... because I'm ice skating. And it's perfect. And they are fantastic. 

worlds biggest 2 front teeth.

I will try and get some proper pictures soon.

I have been loving everything lately, and it has been loving me back. It really works.

Thank you thank you dear friends. I try every day to be just as good to deserve all the good things that happen/ are happening in my life.

 

Clearance..

I don't like that word...

either way. I am pulling the plug on several of my patterns. All of the patterns that are being discontinued are marked on sale in the shop. But I have put together a limited number of bundles that will be available immediately, which include: 1001 Peeps Five Magical Projects, Arboretum, Sovereign Picnic, Both of the Castle Peeps Embroidery patterns and a blue 1001 Peeps notebook. A $70 value for $25. A literal steal.

All pattern bundles will be shipped in a priority mail, flate rate mailer. And I will ship international.

There are just 50 pattern bundles available

If you want to know why I am doing this, 1. My pattern covers are now out of date (Castle Peeps, so 2009) and 2. it's because my patterns, as well as products that I will be carrying are going to be changing big time this year. So onward and upward my dear peeps!

there are a few more things marked down in the shop. The few remaining magnet sets, the notebooks, and the last few Holiday Card sets.

Ok. More life changing news on Monday!

10 Reasons why PNCA is the bomb dot com.

Just about a week after I get back from Juniper Moon Farm for our little fiber farm retreat, I will hop my little self onto another plane and head for Portland, to do a textile design/ printmaking workshop at PNCA. Like I said in my previous post, I have been very choosy about where I am going and what I am doing this year, and since you know that now, you also know that I feel strongly about where I am going.

So I thought I would give you 10 reasons why PNCA Continuing ED is the bomb dot com, and why I think you will think so too. So much so that you will want to join me from March 30- April 1.

10. Location. It's PORTLAND, OREGON, PEOPLE. I know that it's a really cool town, and everyone there is supposed to be really cool... but there are reasons that it's so cool. The reason that I wanted to move there in the first place was that it was just so beautiful. You are in the woods essentially while you are still in the city. And you always have water around you. Whether it be the weather or the river. Everything is green and beautiful, and I was just drawn to it.

9. Beyond just the beauty of the location, they have Powell's city of books, and literally some of the best food I've ever had in my entire life. And it's everywhere. Every thing is good. And there isn't any sales tax, which is great for visiting!

8. The Facilities at PNCA are the bomb dot com. They literally have everything that you could possibly need to produce professional, quality work.

Their exposure table for screen printing seriously blew my mind.

7. The atmosphere at PNCA is one of learning and exploring. The space seems to give you permission to think bigger. Which I am into...

6. That same atmosphere lends itself well to a nice sense of community. Even though the workshop only last for a few days, it does feel like you are a part of something, which I know that we are all constantly searching for.

5. They take really good care of me, so I can take really good care of you. WHICH IS HUGE!

4. PNCA is giving you a little time outside of your everyday life to learn new skills, or grow an idea

3. They know, love, and cultivate art.

2. It has been my experience in Portland that people are really nice. Just genuinely down to earth nice, and the peeps at PNCA are no exception. They work hard to make sure that your experience is a positive one.

1. PNCA is a dream come true. They have a whole team of fantastic people working to create a brilliant continuing education program that stands leaps and bounds above most if any art programs in the country. They are about your success, and I am about your success, and that is why I love PNCA.

So won't you join me? We'll learn how to design patterns, I'll talk to you about the ins and outs of the textile industry until I can't speak anymore (like literally lose my voice), I'll give you some insight about color, and I will cry my eyes out when I express to you have much printing means to me, and what it can do in your life. Then I will clean myself up and teach you to print.

if only I were kidding. No but seriously. There will be voo-doo doughnuts, and me.

you can register here!

a new year.

I just got back from Texas a couple of hours ago, and I am wishing I had stayed. I even stayed some days longer than I had originally planned, because I was having such a good time eating food, playing Zelda, hanging out with pets, and being with my Mom and Melissa! And I didn't need to get back for any particular reason so it worked out... 

But whilst I was home, I was planning out my new year. And I am excited to say that this year is going to be different, because I am choosing different. It seems like often we are victims to new years. We make goals and deadlines, but the year goes too fast, and it seems that by February this just isn't a good year and then things just start happening to us, and we have no choice but to concede to the fact that it's just no good... and while these things happen, we have to, I have to, acknowledge that I have a say about the outcome. 2012 isn't just happening to me.

So that's kind of the theme of my year. Accountability. I want to know/ feel like I made the best choices I possibly could this year. And that the outcome will be good no matter what, because I gave it the ol' college try, every day. So there are some rules and very specific goals. I will go ever said rules over the next couple of days.

Also, in an attempt to be a little more grounded I have taken on only a few teaching/speaking engagements this year which feels really good. I'm excited to share those with you. I'm going to fill you in on PNCA tomorrow!

ok. So some big changes around here. In the coming little while I will fill you in on what my year is going to look like. I have some really big plans.

I hope you all had dreamy holidays.

Christmas Lights.

Sometimes it's hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit, because everything seems to go so fast, and it's too commercial. But I have a made a real effort this year to get there. So I've thrown a party, I've baked cookies, I've dressed festively every chance I've gotten, and last night I went to see the lights at Temple Square! I've never seen them before, so it was ultra spectacular, and if you are in Salt Lake for some reason in the next little bit I highly recommend spending the evening walking around Temple Sqaure. 

Also. I just want to say that I am in love with my camera. It was the best purchase I can ever remember making. And a quick note about this photo up top. That was the top of the tree against the sky. It was incredible. 

I hope as you prepare for the holiday this week, that you can be happy and safe, merry and bright in whatever you celebrate!

lots of love

lizzy. 

Oh... I forgot something...

I forgot to tell you that I added a baby size pattern to The Colorist right before I sent it to the printers! Meaning that you can either make the full size one (72x80), or the baby peep one (50x50), or both. So you're getting two patterns for the price of one. Which makes me feel good about things. 

It would make the perfect baby quilt. No but seriously though... 

 

the actualization of The Colorist.

The Colorist gets here on Monday. I have all the pre-order envelopes addressed, and I'm turning them around as soon as they get in the door. Same with any new orders. 

Monday is also my last shipping day before I leave for the holidays. So time is of the essence. 

The pattern is beautiful. And BIG! it also has one of my favorite quotes in it:

Only those who love color are admitted to its beauty and immanent presence. It affords utility to all, but unveils its deeper mysteries only to its devotees.
—Johannes Itten

aside from that it has fully colored/illustrated/photographed instructions, and a gigantic pattern piece to cut out and use. This pattern was quite the production, but I think it will all be worth it. I designed it a year ago, figured out the wheel in March, how to do the background in July, made the real one in September, finished the pattern in early November, and now it is ready for action. 

I can't wait to see the variations you come up with. I've already got a few different ones planned, along with the other 2 colorist tops I already have made waiting in line to be quilted! 

hair today, gone tomorrow.

My hair is getting really long, especially for my standards. For most people my hair is medium length. For me, it's becoming unreasonable. 

Here is an amusing conversation I had with my friend Sharydon (who also happens to do hair). 

----------------------------------

Lizzy: Sharydon, have you come up with any ideas for my hair yet?

Sharydon: I still think that you should go short. 

Lizzy: I'm totally fine with short hair, but both my Mom and sister said that I probably should get a boyfriend before I cut it off...

Sharydon: I understand. I'm growing my hair out for my wedding. 

Lizzy: Um... are you dating anyone, Sharydon?

Sharydon: No.  

---------------------------------

She makes a really good point. So my princess hair lives another day. 

this is a self portrait. 

Studio Sale!

hiya peeps!

this weekend is my studio sale! If you are local come and say hi and find some last minute gifties, or just some fabric for yourself because Utah still doesn't dig me enough to carry it (totally bogus)... I'll have a limited number of Outfoxed bundles.

There will be actual cookies this time, not just hypothetical cookies. 

see you this weekend!

some holiday cheer.

I didn't say WITCH holiday!

I'm pretty excited. Amanda was going on and on about Halloween, and so I said, Hey, I'll try my hand at Halloween. 

I wanted to do something different. Something that looked like me, but wasn't so typical Halloween. All Halloween means to me anyway is Charlie Brown. There is no green, the purple is really gray, not shocking. The ghosts are emoting. The pearl bracelets are present... the eyes are just googly enough. The candy corn was made special so you could have as many as you want without a tooth ache/nap. The jack-o-lanterns are doing their thing. Nothing too frightening. 

My biggest deal, as we have been discussing as of late, was the color. Think more It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, than Nightmare before Christmas. You know I love a good peach. Also, I don't know if you can tell from this picture, but our little ghosts are doing the neutral thing, so I can see using them well outside of this holiday. 

So, I hope you like Guising (to go disguised). Tell your favorite shops to talk to their Andover reps! I think it will ship late spring/ early summer. 

Moral of the story. If I like you enough, and you talk about something enough, the odds of it turning into a line of fabric are high. 

increments of time.

How do you measure time?

I like how Hugh Grant talks about time as units in About a Boy. I think each unit is half an hour.

for myself the time a project takes is usually measured in movies, music, shows or phone conversations.

Here are some projects, and the time they were completed in:

The quilts from 1001 Peeps: five magical projects ~ The entire series of Ugly Betty.

Binding a quilt ~ 3-4 episodes of a British Mini Series

The Enchanted Lamp crewel pillow from 1001 Peeps: five magical projects ~ Ally McBeal all seasons except the last when characters were gone and never accounted for. Followed by Cheers up until Diane leaves, followed by all of Wings (I really grew to love that show). Turns out large embroideries with lots of satin stitching take a long time...

Outfox the Fox ~ cut and pieced in under 2 movies!

cutting 150 yards of fabric down to 1200 fat 1/8's ~ 3 episodes News Radio (not as funny as I remembered, but did make me miss Phil Hartman... ), 2 full repeats of every song from Sufjan's Christmas cds, two 1-2 hour conversations with my Mom (someone needs to update their blog...), four 30 minute-2 hour conversations with Melissa, and one 3 hour conversation with Marisa. With intermitent chats with Karyn.

folding 1200 fat 1/8's ~ 6 movies

assembling 24 fat 1/8 stacks ~ 8 episodes of House Hunters International

you get the idea...

I wonder what will become of my work when I don't renew my yearly subscription to nf this coming year? Books on tape? podcasts? a vow of silence?

this picture reminds me that I was on a Tony Curtis kick when I was making the Castle Peeps quilts...